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Spam Blocker Information |
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Spasms & Spamocidal Mania
Below is a letter I wrote to the following organizations: S.H.U. (Spam-Haters Unanimous) N.A.A.P.W.H.S. (National Association for the Advancement of People Who Hate Spam) P.W.H.P.W.D.H.S. (People Who Hate People Who Don't Hate Spam) P.F.W.S.H.I.A.L.C. (People for Whom Spam-Hating is a Lifestyle Choice) S.A.P.W.R.R.R.H.S. (Society for the Advancement of People Who Really Really Really Hate Spam) P.W.H.S.S.M.I.M.L.W.S.C.O.T.E. (People Who Hate Spam So Much It Makes Little Wisps of Steam Come Out of Their Ears) And, of course: Spam Haters In The Business of Internet Resource Directory Services. DEAR FELLOW SPAM HATERS, I'm writing to suggest that we combine forces in order to present a common front in our righteous war on unsolicited commercial email: Spam! I suggest we disband the myriad sites and organizations now opposing unsolicited commercial email in order to form a single, unified organization: The Spammish Inquisition! And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our Grand Inquisatrix! WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS? You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is! I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much! If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that? Don't think so. I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven. But spam... hooboy! SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS! I believe we should have a constitutional amendment allowing cruel and unusual punishment in the case of spammers. Maybe that tummy thing like the Japanese do when they get depressed. As with drugs, mere possession of bulk emailing software should result in the immediate confiscation of the computer it was on, as well as any nice clothes, jewelry, or lawn statuary that might have been purchased with spam profits. Just thinking about sending spam should be illegal, like joking about bombs in an airport. If I get to be Grand Inquisatrix, I'll have my own force of men-in-black dudes to sniff out spamsters and be really mean to them and call them names until they promise to be good little netizens again. It's for their own good. IN CLOSING... Having looked at the websites of some of the anti-spam crusaders, I know that I am not alone in my revulsion, disgust and utter skin-crawling contempt for spam. Like them, I have turned a blind-eye to more mundane problems like hunger, illiteracy, disease, country music and poverty so as to focus on the true menace ravaging our cyber-society. If you wish to support my crusade, you may do so by sending me $99, and as a free gift I'll send you a CD with the email addresses of 40 million netizens eagerly awaiting news of your latest product or service. Linda Cox, G.I.W. (Grand Inquisatrix Wannabe) P.S. Oh yeah... stale croutons. Hate 'em. About The Author Linda Cox (J.A.M.G.) was born in a speeding stagecoach amid the screams of fellow passengers as insane, wild-eyed horses dragged them all crashing toward the brink of destruction. That stagecoach was the planet Earth, those passengers were the human race, and Linda Cox is Just Another Marketing Guru. (The horses were just regular horses.) http://www.LindaCox.com/
MORE RESOURCES: Best Call Blocker App Options to Prevent Spam Calls to Your Small Business Small Business Trends 'Scam Likely' Calls: Can You Block Them for Good? Parade Magazine Make it STOP: Does replying to spam texts from politicians really block them? University of Colorado Boulder How to block a phone number on your Android phone Android Authority How to Detect and Block Spam Calls on iPhone (2024 Guide) The Mac Observer Best call blocking devices for landlines CyberGuy Report How to Block Annoying Emails for Good Reader's Digest How to Stop Spam Emails on iPhones in 2025 CyberNews.com How to Block Spam Calls on Android Tech Advisor This Is What Happens When You Respond to Spam Emails Reader's Digest Phone apps that filter spam for Hong Kong users found to expose their data South China Morning Post This iPhone Hack Can Help Reduce The Number Of Spam Texts You See Yahoo Singapore News How to permanently block spam calls and SMS on Jio The Indian Express These 6 Email Services Are the Best at Blocking Spam MUO - MakeUseOf How to Stop Spam Text Messages Techlicious How to block spam calls on Android India Today Does Unsubscribing from Emails Work—and Is It Safe to Do? Reader's Digest 10 best apps to block spam calls on Android phone and safeguard your privacy The Times of India Robokiller: Spam Call Blocker subscription price to jump 225 percent on July 20 O'Grady's Power Page How to Identify Apple Phishing Emails and Avoid Getting Scammed Reader's Digest Truecaller introduces Auto-Block Spam feature for iPhone: Know what it is and how it works India Today Government of India unveils new anti-spam mechanism to block spam calls originating from abroad Firstpost Comcast Introduces New Advanced Spam Blocker Feature for Xfinity Voice Customers Comcast Corporation Govt rolls out new system to block fraudulent calls originating from abroad The Indian Express How to Block Spam Text Messages: A Complete Guide VPNOverview.com Airtel is using AI-powered technology to block spam calls and messages Business Insider India Samsung phones will better filter spam texts in only this country SamMobile - Samsung news Spam messages on WhatsApp will soon be a thing of the past The Indian Express AT&T ActiveArmor Offers Features to Control Spam Texts AT&T Newsroom Tech Tips: Block your spam calls and SMS on Jio; Here’s how The Financial Express New Truecaller feature uses AI to detect and block spam calls: Here’s how to enable it The Indian Express WhatsApp now lets you block spam right from your lock screen Android Police Privacy risk from apps used for filtering spam calls Hong Kong Standard Tired of spam calls and messages on your phone? Here’s how to enable DND on Jio, Airtel, and Vi The Times of India How to stop spam calls on iPhone and Android phones Digital Trends Stop spam calls on iPhones and Android devices with these simple steps The Indian Express Tired of WhatsApp spam? Block the sender without unlocking your smartphone - Here's how Zee Business Tired of WhatsApp spam? New update allows blocking users directly from lock screen; here's how The Economic Times How to Stop Spam Calls (Published 2021) The New York Times Savvy Senior: How to protect seniors from scam phone calls Midland Daily News Kim Komando: The best ways to block scam calls New York Post How to block and report text spam The Verge Truecaller For iOS Gets Automatic Spam Call Blocking MySmartPrice |
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